So this is very exciting, for the first time I have been gifted a book in exchange for an honest review. I say the first time because I’m really hoping this happens again, so thank you Penguin and Netgalley for giving the opportunity to do this! Unless you’ve been living under a rock you’ll probably have seen or heard of Dolly Alderton because of her old columns or her memoir Everything I Know About Love. I read her memoir earlier this year and absolutely loved it, so when I saw that she had a debut novel coming out I was psyched!
Ghosts focuses on the phenomenon of ghosting when dating, alongside the almost ghostly illness that is Dementia. The story follows Nina Dean, a woman in her 30s as she explores the realm of online dating as her friends are all attempting to settle down and seem to be more and more distant, and her father is starting to suffer with Dementia. Immediately I was hooked on the premise, Alderton’s humour mixed with some really emotional issues? Sign me up!
When I picked it up it didn’t take long for me to start laughing, if you’ve read Everything I Know About Love, you’ll be able to see where Dolly Alderton shines through with her humour and observations about friendship and dating. The romance aspect is good, and if you’ve ever been on dating apps you’re probably familiar with the concept of ghosting, having been ghosted or been the ghost. The dating aspect of the book was good, it was like even though you knew from the premise that he would disappear you still wanted it to not happen! I think that it was interesting to see the fallout of the relationship as well and see how both characters were flawed within it, both imaging a version of the other like the Ariana Grande lyric goes “Painted a picture, I thought I knew you well”. In fact thinking about it now, I think in my head could actually be the perfect song to describe their relationship.
When I say this book had me laughing, I do genuinely mean it, there were times where I was laughing out loud. Purely because it can be so relatable, funnily and painfully. I wasn’t far in when I came across the quote “The very best version of a piece of work was when it was still just an idea and therefore perfect.” and I laughed because it is so relatable to me, somebody who wants to write books but hates writing them because I lose interest as soon as I get to a bit I deem ‘boring’. When you’re reading Ghosts there will be points where you relate to the things Nina thinks or does, or even the things her friends do. It’s awkward at times, and so painfully real, and I think that is a blend that Alderton does fantastically.
Although I don’t want to compare the two books too much, in Everything I Know About Love Alderton reflects on how most of what she knows about love has come from her female friendships, and I think this also shines through in Ghosts. It is a theme that is clearly important, with the friendships that Nina has being written so well, from the little things that irk her about her friends, to the friendship break ups that she experiences. As someone who has experienced a couple of friendship break ups it was so nice to see one done really well, how the little frustrations build up over time to erupt. Break ups are something Alderton writes well about, with her recounting how Nina and her ex broke up as well, and I loved it because it was so good to see an amicable break up and exes be really close friends. So often there is a demonisation of exes, and I liked the subtle reinforcement that it is okay to be friends with an ex, and with their new partner (even if Alderton does also write the awkwardness that can come with that).
I think the thing that truly stands out to me about Alderton’s work is the writing on dynamics. She clearly thinks a lot about the dynamics of friendship and how they change over the years, with people getting into relationships/getting married/having children. And it’s fascinating to read about what she thinks, because sometimes I read it thinking “that’s so true!”. As we get older we do change and the things we’re interested in change, so reading Alderton’s takes on friendship group politics etc is fascinating to me, and it’s something she also incorporates into dating, although I still think it shines through best when discussing friendship.
The portrayal of Dementia was also very well done. My nan has Dementia to the point where she no longer recognises any of the family, but reading about Nina’s dad experiencing the early stages of Dementia really took me back to when my nan first started to experience Dementia, although I was not around for most of it. It was good to see how Alderton portrayed it well and how it affected Nina and her mother in different ways, she didn’t shy away from writing about how hard it can be for others, which is an incredibly important part of Dementia. It was heartbreaking, but it is very real and important for those that have not experienced the pain of it in order to understand how to help people that may be experiencing it.
I think one of the underlying themes that was done extremely well was that you never know what’s going on in someone else’s life, I know it’s stereotypical and very obvious but at the same time it is so true and done so well. As the novel goes on you realise more and more that everyone is putting up facades of who they want to be/seeing other people as the facade they’re given and it doesn’t take long for those facades to crack. Whether it’s the neighbour, the boyfriend, the friends or her mum, everyone in Nina’s life including herself is putting up a facade and trying to pretend they’re fine when there’s a lot going on beneath the surface, everyone wants to seem perfect. These cracks appear so often and eventually they all crumble so that you get a nice resolution where people talk to each other, and I loved it. I keep saying that, but it is genuinely true, I do love this book and I think Alderton definitely does what she aimed to do.
I think the only things that I didn’t like was the few errors I noticed on the kindle edition with spacing, although I’m sure that is just because it is an ARC and not the retail version yet. I also wished a few more things had happened like a confrontation with Max, although I did enjoy the substitute we got instead, other than that there was nothing I could really fault it on and I really liked the journey that Nina went through, and how she feels at the end.
I’d really recommend that you preorder this, or pick it up when it comes out because it is really worth it and I hope that you all enjoyed it as much as I did! It’s genuinely funny and a breath of fresh air, and I genuinely think that it can help you understand dating and friendships better.
Love,
Carey
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